Psalm 130

Verses 5-6...

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

and in His word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning."

Truly anticipating the celebration of Resurrection Day tomorrow. This entire psalm gave me a sense of one keeping vigil at the tomb, devout and hopeful.

Saturday evening musings

My dear one,

I just reached a goal I had set for my thesis, and felt so happy to close the document on my computer after having pulled another self-imposed all-nighter. My colleagues think I'm crazy for not "enjoying" the spring break holiday. But to have uninterrupted time like this--no teaching, no rehearsals, no concerts--is a gift I can't afford to pass up.

I "rewarded" myself with a tasty little supper of a black bean mango rice bowl. (Nope, no meat tonight. I'm not a vegetarian, per se, but I tend to lean towards something of a Mediterranean diet. Tonight's protein came from the black beans ... which, I am quite proud to say, did not come from a can.) Whenever I take the time to actually prepare something more than a salad or sandwich, I always feel a bit sorry that I don't have anyone to share it with. I have Pinterest boards full of recipes I can't wait to try for you.

So, as I prepare for an early bedtime to make up for last night's "craziness," I wish you a good night, my dear one, wherever you are.

I see the moon, the moon sees me,

The moon sees the one that I want to see.

God bless the moon, and God bless me,

And God bless the one I'm longing to see.

Psalm 131

"O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the LORD

from this time forth and forevermore."

Lord, teach me to calm and quiet my soul instead of having my thoughts occupied with worry, anxiety, impatience, and struggling against Your divine plan for me.

Psalm 132

Verses 13-16...

For the Lord has chosen Zion;

He has desired it for His dwelling place:

“This is My resting place forever;

here I will dwell, for I have desired it.

I will abundantly bless her provisions;

I will satisfy her poor with bread.

Her priests I will clothe with salvation,

and her saints will shout for joy.”

Spurgeon: "In Christ the heart of Deity is filled with content, and for His sake He is satisfied with His people, and will be so world without end... We may be sure if the Lord rests it is because 'it is finished.'"

Psalm 133

 

There are several directions I could take for this psalm, but I'll be short and sweet tonight. I am thankful for my brothers. One is 20 months younger than me, the other is 7 years younger than me. Growing up together, we had our share of sibling squabbles, of course. But today I am so happy to have brothers who are making good decisions in life, honoring our parents, and demonstrating their loyal love to me, their "big sis"!

Evening gowns and ups and downs

My dear one,

Tonight I performed as a soloist for a symphony concert. My beloved teacher had given me a gift certificate for a hair updo and makeup at a local salon. That, combined with the dress I had purchased for the occasion, made me feel quite like a princess. Quite a rare feeling, actually. One of my few good friends here offered to help me get ready in the green room before the concert, and her assistance was most appreciated and helped to ward off any pre-performance nerves. Yet after the event, this dear friend was too tired for any kind of celebrating, so I just drove directly home. It was then that I thought of you. If you were here with me, would you have bought me flowers and handed them to me during the applause? Would you have taken me to a little restaurant afterwards for a sweet treat to help me celebrate? I suppose I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself right now. The friends I have are never beside me when I need them most. Cannot God's love for me actually feel like it is more than sufficient? Why do I always feel so lonely if He is ever present with me?

Waiting,
Me

Psalm 134

 Verse 1...
"Come, bless the LORD, all you servants of the LORD, 
who stand by night in the house of the LORD!"

Spurgeon summarizes that this brief psalm "teaches us to pray for those who are continually ministering before the Lord, and it invites all ministers to pronounce benedictions upon their loving and prayerful people." 

In light of some disturbing trends in our culture (and my Facebook newsfeed), I find the following comment from Spurgeon very edifying to my heart: "When night settles down on a church the Lord has His watchers and holy ones still guarding His truth, and these must not be discouraged, but must bless the Lord even when the darkest hours draw on. Be it ours to cheer them, and lay upon them this charge—to bless the Lord at all times, and let His praise be continually in their mouths."

The longing for beauty and purpose

My dear one,

This is not a letter, but merely a glimpse into my meditations tonight...

C. S. Lewis (1898-1963):

"The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."
—The Weight of Glory

Blaise Pascal (1623-1662):

"What else does this longing and helplessness proclaim, but that there was once in each person a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? We try to fill this in vain with everything around us, seeking in things that are not there the help we cannot find in those that are there. Yet none can change things, because this infinite abyss can only be filled with something that is infinite and unchanging—in other words, God himself. God alone is our true good."
—Pensées #425

Westminster Larger Catechism (1648):

Question #1: What is the chief and highest end of man?
Answer: Man's chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever.

Psalm 135

Themes for our worship:
God's goodness (v. 3), His electing love (v. 4), His greatness (vv. 5-7), His judgments (vv. 8-12), His unchanging character (v. 13), and His love towards His people (v. 14).

Verse 5...  
For I know that the LORD is great, and that our Lord is above all gods.  

On Sunday, I was talking to a friend at church about how our postmodern society equates those who hold to absolute truth with intolerant bigots. I have a student who claims to be Wiccan but told me that her coven promotes inclusion of elements from other religions. Basically, whatever you want to incorporate is fine (some Shinto ritual purification, a bit of Zen Buddhist meditation, a sprinkle of Hindu karma, a few moral teachings of Christianity, etc.). But true religion is not a smorgasboard from which anyone and everyone can select items at will!!

True, all human "religions" have some sort of common ground. The lowest common denominator is something like "In order to gain ______ [happiness, or acceptance in God's eyes, or fulfillment, or eternity, etc.], you must do ______ [various actions and standards like good works, loving others, etc.]." But that's why I can't put any trust in man-made religions, because in reality I know that in my own strength I can never do enough, or be enough, or have sufficient assurance that "my way" or anyone else's is correct. I don't think I could live with that kind of ambiguity! Thankfully the Bible is not merely one religious group's set of laws, but it is God's revelation to humankind regarding who He is and who we are in relation to Him. "We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on Him [Jesus Christ] the iniquity of us all." Thus it's not really about choosing a religion, but about a necessity for a relationship with that perfect Mediator between us and God. I am so thankful that I have that assurance, a hope grounded in Christ my Savior, the only perfect Man, the Son of God, who died to cleanse me from the stain of sin and free me from the power of sin.

Psalm 136

"His steadfast love endures forever." What a blessed refrain throughout this psalm.

Give to our God immortal praise!
Mercy and truth are all His ways;
Wonders of might to God belong—
Tell of His glory in your song:

For His mercies shall endure Ever faithful, ever sure!
 

He built the earth, He spread the sky;
He fixed the starry lights on high;
Wonders of pow'r to God belong—
Tell of His greatness in your song:

For His mercies shall endure Ever faithful, ever sure!

He sent His Son with pow'r to save
From guilt and darkness and the grave;
Wonders of love to God belong—
Tell of His mercy in your song:

For His mercies shall endure Ever faithful, ever sure!

Thro' this vain world He guides our feet
'Til we shall reach His heav'nly seat;
Wonders of grace to God belong—
Tell of His goodness in your song:

For His mercies shall endure Ever faithful, ever sure!

(Isaac Watts, alt.)

Negotiables and non-negotiables

My dear one,

I used to have a list of what I was looking for in a man. I don't keep such a list today. I can not stipulate my petty preferences of strengths and hobbies and hair color. I can only pray that you will be someone I can trust and love and serve alongside.

But there are still some non-negotiables I would never cede. I would never marry a man who does not love the Lord with all his heart, soul, and mind! And I do sometimes worry that we might have some difficult-to-overcome differences in theological persuasion. You see, I have come to embrace the tenets of the historic reformed faith, the doctrines of grace. Not that my family's background was of an opposite conviction -- but it was never anything very clear in my family's "independent Baptist" circles. I can't see myself attending/joining a church that does not hold to either the Westminster Standards or the London Baptist Confession. My heart is greatly edified by the sermons of Charles Spurgeon, the deep thoughts of Jonathan Edwards, the writings of the Puritans. If you wrinkle your nose at this, I'll send you away to read John Owens' The Death of Death in the Death of Christ, and then we'll talk.

Am I being too dogmatic? Well, even if I am, at least it's dogmaticism about dogma! But deep down I have a feeling that our hearts will beat as one even in these matters. The Lord continues to teach me and humble me and I'm sure He will use you in my life to carry on my spiritual growth.

Waiting,
Me

Health

My dear one,

As I sit here this evening, nursing my cup of tea with honey and lemon, hoping for some relief for my sore throat, I am actually more thankful than miserable. I am so thankful for the good health with which God has blessed me, especially since I've returned to the schedule of a busy student. I confess I am a bit of a germaphobe, feeling the need to use hand sanitizer after public doorknobs and such. But my germ-conscientiousness has paid off for the most part. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been really under the weather with any kind of of sore throat or congestion these past three years. The Lord has spared me from those crippling flu symptoms. I've really been quite healthy all my life: no cavities in my teeth, no prescription medications, no physical disabilities except for a bit of nearsightedness. I didn't have any broken bones until an unfortunate mishap on my walk to work five years ago, resulting in a broken bone in my foot and an air cast for six weeks.

I know many godly friends who are struggling with pain and illness, yet their countenances and spirits remain such a strong testimony to God's grace.

So who am I to complain about a little cold?

Psalm 137

Verses 1-4...
    By the waters of Babylon,
        there we sat down and wept,
        when we remembered Zion.
    On the willows there
        we hung up our lyres.
    For there our captors
        required of us songs,
    and our tormentors, mirth, saying,
        “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
    How shall we sing the LORD's song
        in a foreign land?

The people sorrowed over not just their captivity but also what what signified by it. They wept over what they had lost. The Babylonian captivity was the means by which God chastened His people for their unfaithfulness. Zion is "the city of God," the place of His dwelling. His favor and blessing had been removed from Jerusalem, and the people mourned this. The harps used for worship were untouched. The captors requested music of them, but the people could hardly desecrate the memory of Zion by using songs of worship to entertain the Babylonians.

Yet on the other hand Paul and Silas sang in prison, during the cold, dark night hours of their captivity. They were not mourning their sinful choices, for they were faithful to their Lord.

O Lord, keep my heart fixed upon You. May I remain faithful and true to You above all else! For then my heart will always be able to sing.

Psalm 138

Verse 8...
    "The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me;
        Your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
        Do not forsake the work of Your hands."

This verse has been a special promise for me lately. Charles Spurgeon preached an encouraging New Year's sermon on this text. Here are some excerpts:

• This is my confidence, the Lord that began will perfect. He has done it all, must do it all, He will do it all. My confidence must not be in what I can do, or in what I have resolved to do, but entirely in what the Lord will do.
• O child of God! leave the future to thy God. O leave everything that is to come in the hand of Him to Whom the future is already present, and Who knows beforehand everything that shalt befall thee.
•  He will most assuredly, beyond a doubt, bring to perfection my faith, my love, my hope, and every grace. He will perfect His purposes; He will perfect His promises; He will perfect my body, and perfect my soul.
• Once pardon of sin concerned me; that He has perfected. Then imputed righteousness concerned me; that He perfected. Now, sanctification troubles me; that He will perfect.
• All the weight of my trouble, all the weight of my backsliding, all the weight of my evil heart of unbelief—all these the everlasting arches of divine mercy can and will sustain. Those arches never shall rock; the stone never shall be crumbled; it never shall be swept away by even the floods of eternity itself. Because His mercy endureth for ever, God will most assuredly perfect the work of His hands.
• May God grant, when you and I shall come to the end of this year, we may have a good tale to tell concerning the faithfulness of God in having answered our prayers, and having fulfilled His promise. 

When this year is ended, perhaps I will be able to tell you, my dear one, how God has fulfilled His promise to bring you to me!

The work which His goodness began, the arm of His strength will complete;
His promise is Yea and Amen, and never was forfeited yet.
Things future, nor things that are now, nor all things below or above,
Can make Him His purpose forgo, or sever my soul from His love. 

(Augustus M. Toplady)   

And I love you so

My dear one,
I can imagine you singing this song to me...