Lazy days of summer

My dear one,

I fear my summer laziness and melancholic tendencies have been playing off of each other. I give partial credit for my recent gloom to the fact that my birthday crept up on me last week. I try in vain to ignore the fact that each passing year means the further diminishing of my chances that you will ever find me...

I was ill for several days recently with some kind of summer bug. It had been years since I slept ALL DAY! Thankfully I got back on my feet in time for my responsibilities at my church's Vacation Bible School. The theme this year was Pilgrim's Progess, and John Bunyan himself showed up each day to read a children's adaptation of his classic allegory. I had the charge of 13 little "pilgrims" during the week. How precious to hear 160+ little voices singing "He Who Would Valiant Be"!

I do believe I'll need a bit of valor myself for the coming two years, as I've just been appointed as the director of a local organization within my field. I shudder at this responsibility - for although I have been happy to be on the board for several terms in various capacities, I am not one to want to "spearhead" anything! Quite content to serve in the background, thank you very much! About the only good thing I can see about all this is that it will look good on my CV (something which the administration of my institution seems to care about, ha!). Can you tell my heart is not in this? I just want to hole up as little ol' me! But if only you were here to whisper in my ear that you're proud of me... perhaps then I could find some joy in the tasks that lie before me!

Every once in a while I feel a little catch in my heart when I observe a smile that reminds me of what yours would be like, or see handwriting that I imagine you to have, or remember a voice that I could predict as belonging to you. Such fragile threads of hope my heart still holds to!

A summer concert series in which I participate has an upcoming concert featuring classic tunes of George Gershwin and Jerome Kern. Several of which have long been favorites of mine - because they have echoes of you in them, of course. I hope you realize that these songs have been written so that one day you can help me learn to dance!

Until then, my dear one...