Knowing you

My dear one, 

My thoughts are a jumble, but if I wait to craft the perfect letter, it will never materialize...

Do I know you? To know you will be to be proud of you, your character, your accomplishments. Knowing you will make me want to introduce you to my family and friends. 

My heart has kept someone in prayer for over a year and a half. Someone whose eight-month absence left an empty place in my heart. Someone whose return this past winter brought renewed though fragile hope. Someone whose character and accomplishments have earned him the respect of all those around him. Someone with whom I'd be proud to be identified. Someone who tonight made me break into a bigger smile than I've felt for some time. 

But when it is someone who may never dare to approach a closer friendship with me, what am I to do but ask the Lord for strength to accept His will?

The intensity of my desire for attention and affection is nothing compared to Christ's jealousy for my devotion and allegiance. My longings for companionship give me a tiny glimpse of the paradisal communion between God and our first parents.

So as I fight for sleep on this sleepless night, I leave you, my dear one, with this:

Liszt's piano transcription of Schumann's Widmung ("Dedication")... 

Du meine Seele, du mein Herz,
Du meine Wonn’, O du mein Schmerz,
Du meine Welt, in der ich lebe,
Mein Himmel du, darein ich schwebe,
O du mein Grab, in das hinab
Ich ewig meinen Kummer gab.

Du bist die Ruh, du bist der Frieden,
Du bist vom Himmel mir beschieden.
Daß du mich liebst, macht mich mir wert,
Dein Blick hat mich vor mir verklärt,
Du hebst mich liebend über mich,
Mein guter Geist, mein beßres Ich!

(text by Friedrich Rückert)

Psalm 31

Verse 15... 

"...my times are in Thy hand"

Charles H. Spurgeon: The great truth is this — all that concerns the believer is in the hands of the Almighty God. "My times," these change and shift; but they change only in accordance with unchanging love, and they shift only according to the purpose of One with whom is no variableness nor shadow of a turning. "My times," that is to say, my ups and my downs, my health and my sickness, my poverty and my wealth — all those are in the hand of the Lord, who arranges and appoints according to His holy will the length of my days, and the darkness of my nights. Storms and calms vary the seasons at the divine appointment. Whether times are reviving or depressing remains with Him Who is Lord both of time and of eternity; and we are glad it is so.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Octavius Winslow: God has placed us in a school in which He is teaching us to lay our blind reason at His feet, to cease from our own wisdom and, guidance, and lean upon and confide in Him, as children with a parent. The goodness of God to us, combined with a jealous regard to His own glory, constrains Him to conceal the path along which He conducts us. His promise is, "I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them" (Isaiah 42:16)... How unfitted should we be to discharge our duties, to sustain our responsibilities, to meet our trials, cope with our difficulties, and bear with our sorrows, were they all to confront us this moment! Oh! how kindly, wisely, and tenderly does our Father deal with us! And in no part of His providential dealings is His goodness more clearly seen than in veiling all our future from our reach. Let us sit down at Jesus' feet, thanking him that the "life which we now live in the flesh," we live not by sight, but by "faith in the Son of God, who loved us, and gave Himself for us."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

My times are in Thy hand; my God, I wish them there;

My life, my friends, my soul I leave entirely to Thy care.

My times are in Thy hand; whatever they may be;

Pleasing or painful, dark or bright, as best may seem to Thee.

My times are in Thy hand; why should I doubt or fear?

My Father's hand will never cause His child a needless tear.

My times are in Thy hand, Jesus, the crucified!

Those hands my cruel sins had pierced are now my guard and guide.

My times are in Thy hand, Jesus, my Advocate:

Nor shall Thine hand be stretched in vain, for me to supplicate.

My times are in Thy hand, I'll always trust in Thee;

And, after death, at Thy right hand I shall forever be.

-- William F. Lloyd

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Father, I know that all my life is portioned out for me,

And the changes that are sure to come I do not fear to see;

But I ask Thee for a present mind intent on pleasing Thee.

I ask Thee for a thoughtful love, through constant watching wise,

To meet the glad with joyful smiles, and to wipe the weeping eyes;

And a heart at leisure from itself, to soothe and sympathize.

I would not have the restless will that hurries to and fro,

Seeking for some great thing to do or secret thing to know;

I would be treated as a child, and guided where I go.

Wherever in the world I am, in whatsoe'er estate,

I have a fellowship with hearts to keep and cultivate;

And a work of lowly love to do for the Lord on Whom I wait.

So I ask Thee for daily strength, to none that ask denied,

And a mind to blend with outward life while keeping at Thy side;

Content to fill a little space, if Thou be glorified.

And if some things I do not ask in my cup of blessing be,

I would have my spirit filled the more with grateful love to Thee,

More careful, not to serve Thee much, but to please Thee perfectly.

There are briers besetting every path that call for patient care;

There is a cross in every lot, and an earnest need for prayer;

But a lowly heart that leans on Thee is happy anywhere.

In a service which Thy will appoints there are no bonds for me;

For my inmost heart is taught "the truth" that makes Thy children "free,"

And a life of self-renouncing love is a life of liberty.

-- Anna L. Waring

Psalm 32

Verse 8...

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; 

     I will counsel you with My eye upon you. 

"I will instruct you..." -- God makes His children wise in divine matters. He gives understanding to the simple where before there was none!

"...and teach you in the way you should go..." -- God gives direction in practical matters of sanctification and godly living. His Word is "profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness."

"I will counsel you with My eye upon you" -- He doesn't merely send us out on the path of His divine decree, but goes with us as our Guide and Helper. Adam and Eve enjoyed sweet communion with God in the Garden of Eden before the Fall wrought a painful distance between them and God. But God, in sending the promised Saviour to undo the curse, made a way for us to again enter into His presence!

These three facets to God's direction for His people, outlined in Psalm 32:8, can also provide a model for His followers who seek to teach others as well. A Christian disciple-maker desires to impart godly wisdom and practical guidance, coming alongside his students to journey with them.

Psalm 33

Verses 18-22...

Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him,
on those who hope in His steadfast love,
that He may deliver their soul from death
and keep them alive in famine.
Our soul waits for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in Him,
because we trust in His holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,
even as we hope in You.

"Each member of the faithful who sings this, and takes to heart the greatness and wonder of God, is enabled more and more to rest his soul on the Lord, confident that God’s plans will succeed in the earth." (ESV Study Bible)

I'm still here

My dear one,

By God's grace, and with His enabling strength, I made it through what very well may have been the most stressful week of my life to date. Yes, even more stressful than the week I defended my dissertation (two years ago around this time). I pulled off a major state-wide event in my field, with the help of many colleagues and friends. And now I'm counting down the days to the end of the semester. Though life has kept me away from writing these letters more faithfully, my busyness has not kept me from praying for you. I'm watching and waiting, hoping silently and helping secretly...

As ever,
Your Evenstar