My thoughts are a jumble, but if I wait to craft the perfect letter, it will never materialize...
Do I know you? To know you will be to be proud of you, your character, your accomplishments. Knowing you will make me want to introduce you to my family and friends.
My heart has kept someone in prayer for over a year and a half. Someone whose eight-month absence left an empty place in my heart. Someone whose return this past winter brought renewed though fragile hope. Someone whose character and accomplishments have earned him the respect of all those around him. Someone with whom I'd be proud to be identified. Someone who tonight made me break into a bigger smile than I've felt for some time.
But when it is someone who may never dare to approach a closer friendship with me, what am I to do but ask the Lord for strength to accept His will?
The intensity of my desire for attention and affection is nothing compared to Christ's jealousy for my devotion and allegiance. My longings for companionship give me a tiny glimpse of the paradisal communion between God and our first parents.
So as I fight for sleep on this sleepless night, I leave you, my dear one, with this:
Liszt's piano transcription of Schumann's Widmung ("Dedication")...
Du meine Seele, du mein Herz,
Du meine Wonn’, O du mein Schmerz,
Du meine Welt, in der ich lebe,
Mein Himmel du, darein ich schwebe,
O du mein Grab, in das hinab
Ich ewig meinen Kummer gab.
Du bist die Ruh, du bist der Frieden,
Du bist vom Himmel mir beschieden.
Daß du mich liebst, macht mich mir wert,
Dein Blick hat mich vor mir verklärt,
Du hebst mich liebend über mich,
Mein guter Geist, mein beßres Ich!
(text by Friedrich Rückert)
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