Home with family

I wrote this last night, with no wifi to post it then...

My dear one,

All is quiet this evening (finally) as I say my goodnights to the family and retreat to the guest room. It is a welcome hideout after another day of nonstop activity and noise. The voice level often borders on shouting, partly due to opinions being asserted, and partly because several of the group are hard of hearing. Also, I am not used to having a television intruding my life, so its insistent messages of materialism and selfish pursuits have been a shock to my system (particularly my eardrums).

It truly is challenging for me to step back into the role of daughter-at-home during these family times, having changed significantly from how my parents and grandparents once knew me to be. It surprises even myself when I realize how differently I think, behave, and even eat, compared to 5, 10, 15 years ago. I've grown to develop certain views, interests, and beliefs that I never held while living at home. Though nothing rebellious or shockingly repulsive to my family, the changes in my habits distance me from my family to a small degree. Particulars, you may ask? Well, I tend to be more careful about food matters, limiting processed foods and seeking out organic produce and quality meat. I had to ask my mother to unplug her electric air freshener units because the chemical "fragrances" were causing me to develop a sore throat. And then there's the church issue -- my parents are quite understanding, though admittedly disappointed, that I am no longer a member of an "independent fundamental Baptist church." I never could have predicted my interest in theology, let alone my transition to reformed theology and Presbyterianism.

It's only been in the last few years that I've come to own my personality, style, and interests. Of course it was no surprise that my education and vocation focused on music, but beyond that I merely drifted along with the family flow for my first couple of decades. It took nine years to drum up the courage to call myself a Presbyterian. I am the first in my family to have a doctorate, let alone a master's degree. I didn't know what minimalism was until about five years ago, though now I can see that I've always gravitated towards it.

All this to say, I can recognize that being on my own and single has been good for my personal growth. I feel so much more ready to meet you, my dear one, than I would have been 10 years ago.

But I am still a sister, daughter, and granddaughter, and I love my family dearly, therefore I willingly come home and love on them as often as I can! I could not ask for a better family. Thank You, Lord.

I wonder when I'll be able to introduce you to my family!
Waiting for you, darling!
 
All my love,
Me