I've been unable to sleep past 3 AM for the second night in a row. Insomnia has never been a problem for me in the past - I hope this is not the beginning of a new trend. I'm restless enough as it is; I don't need to be tossing and turning at night!
When my mind is churning the same thoughts over and over in the silence of nighttime, I find the silence quite deafening. And so I turn on the Rachmaninoff that calls me back again and again, and whisper prayers of thankfulness for a new day yet to begin. Prayers of intercession for various friends sick, sorrowing, and nearing heaven's gate. Prayers of confession over my own faithlessness in the midst of rather calm waters and pleas that I would remain faithful in the storms sure to come. Prayers of praise as I consider the glory of Christ and His all-sufficient grace that is mine by inheritance.
This morning I am filled with a fresh wonder over the fact that God meets my everyday needs, supplies my "daily bread" as it were, by providing this way for me to spend my working hours doing that which I truly love. It never fails, no matter how weary and cranky I feel when I trudge over to my teaching studio, I receive something of a high when teaching! I pray that you would know this same joy in your own field of work. Truly, God's plan for us even before the Fall was that we be occupied in work - tending the area of His creation in which He has placed us, refining the skills with which He has bestowed us, cultivating the good, the beautiful, the true. Whether it be through the means of a plow, pen, or piano, we all have a vocation, a calling of God to work. Some days I still mourn the fact that I have not been given the opportunity to cultivate the family life I dreamed of for so many years, yet God has given me a ministry to my "family" of students. Just last night as I was baking muffins to take to work today, I thought over how such a gesture was always so meaningful to me when I was a busy, frazzled undergrad. I pray daily that I would not only be an instructor to my students, but an encouragement in their lives.
I am wrestling on a daily basis with the outworking of Philippians 2:3-4 --
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."It is when I am idle and alone that I tend to wallow in self-interest. I realize more and more that I need to keep my hands and mind actively serving, giving, helping.
May the Lord help me to do this and be this today in this role to which He has assigned me! And my dear one, may His everlasting arms hold you up in strength for your day.
Love and prayers,
Me
No comments:
Post a Comment