When I work over in my mind the pros and cons of my singleness, it worries me to realize that my personality is very much suited to the unmarried life.
With my need for solitude to recharge, could I get used to having you (and children) around all the time, or would you get on my nerves? I would hope that our marriage could be one in which you give me my needed space, while also helping me to overcome my selfishness.
With my tendency to carefully plan each day, would I be able to take in stride the arising needs that I am called to meet? I would hope that I could agree, with a smile on my face, to the hosting of unexpected dinner guests you brought home -- for if you shared with me your vision for our home being one of ready hospitality, I would learn to make provision in advance for unplanned opportunities.
With my love of performing and teaching, how successfully would I adjust to putting family first before personal/musical opportunities? I would hope that the quiet routines of homekeeping remain the desire of my heart, as they do even now amidst the busyness of my career responsibilities.
I see my own selfishness particularly clearly when it comes to matters of time -- the minutes and hours of my day. When a friend texts to inform me that a previously agreed-upon meeting time will not work and asks for an extra half-hour, hour, or two, my first response is to think to myself, "Well, if I had known that earlier, I could have slept in longer, or run three more errands, or cleaned the kitchen, or done a load of laundry!!!"
The longer we're apart, my dear one, the more difficult the adjustment to married life may be. It will be a process of ongoing sanctification, to be sure! But I value the leadership and wisdom you would bring to our marriage, and I pray for your growth in godly maturity even now.
Always,
Your Evenstar
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