My dear one,
My heart is full. I don't know that this letter can adequately convey what I'm feeling right now. Silent questions, whispered hopes, nagging doubts, imperceptible signs, crushing disappointments, guarded dreams, constant confusion...
I went to a recital wondering if someone in particular would be there. My heart skipped a beat when I spotted that person afar off. And I felt like I couldn't breathe when from my seat I turned my head to realize said person had sat down next to me.
I'm so afraid of where my heart is leading me. I've been pleading with the Lord to show me what to do. Obviously I can't really show my interest without clear indication from God that this someone is daring to notice me. And yet something tells me that this one would feel the same way, proceeding with extreme caution given the differences in our situations. Perhaps I'm speaking in riddles, but for good reason. One of the occasional themes of these letters applies right at this moment: specifically my dread that my position somehow disqualifies me from anyone's consideration.
May the Lord be tender with me and guide me safely through these confusing times. And may you be the one who is the recipient of a smile I hope to give at church tomorrow...
Waiting and praying,
Me
No comments:
Post a Comment