Ideal or idol?

I went away this past weekend, enjoyed the porch seen in the photo above, and had very encouraging conversations with the dear friends who hosted me. I don't think there is another family in the world as wonderful as this one. But now my emotions are in quite a disarray. Observing this family causes my expectations for a "special someone" to be even higher, because I see such godly qualities in this family. But also heightened are my doubts that I will ever be pursued by someone meeting these expectations. Someone godly, established in a good job, highly respected by all who know him, sensitive and caring, well-read and eloquent, musical... Yet I write letters as if he does exist?! 

I'm realizing afresh that the "hope of the ideal man" is truly an idol of the heart. I must continually cast down this idol from the place in my heart it keeps erecting itself. I cannot in good conscience pray that God would grant me this desire, because a part of me doubts that this is even in His divine plan for my life. I must simply pray, "Lord, not my will, but Thine. Thou knowest my heart's cry. But as a loving Father Thou hast told me I must be still, be quiet, and trust that Thy ways are best." And yes, I weep through that prayer. 

But God can use this sorrow and loneliness to minister to others. As my hopes for marriage diminish, my list of ministry goals increases...