Heidelberg Catechism Week 39

104. Q. What is God's will for you in the fifth commandment? A. That I honor, love, and be loyal to my father and mother and all those in authority over me; that I obey and submit to them, as is proper, when they correct and punish me; and also that I be patient with their failings - for through them God choose to rule us. 

My reflections on the reading from the book...

It is incredible to see the myriad instances of "rebellion for the sake of rebellion" in today's generation of young people. It's as if parents expect and accept this as a "rite of passage" for their children. But how contrary to God's law! 

As a child, I was taught and expected to obey my mother and father because they were the authority God placed over me. And though I now live away from my parents , I still honor them, seek their counsel, and consider myself to still be under my father's protection until such a time as I would have a husband to take on that role of protector. And when my parents can no longer provide for and care for themselves, my brothers and I recognize our duty to honor them in those later years of life by supplying that necessary care.

Saturday's stream-of-consciousness ponderings

My dear one, 

What a strange week it has been. Now that I have a chance to sit down and enjoy a quiet evening curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and a college football game, I find myself restless and lonely. Oh how I would love to hold a good long conversation with you... I would tell you how the delightfully cool autumn weather brings back memories of my happy childhood. I would tell you about my brother's spontaneous albeit brief visit and the sporting event I enjoyed with him last night. I would tell you about the music I recorded this week for a conference proposal and the mental and physical strain that such an endeavor causes. I would tell you how I successfully fought off an icky cold with essential oils, despite being exposed to the many students who came sick to their music lessons this week. I would tell you about helping my downstairs neighbors move out and how it spurs me on to pursue minimalism even more intentionally. I would tell you about my experience representing our university music program at a local college fair and how doing so definitely takes me out of my comfort zone. I would ask you about your week's trials and blessings. I would discover how I can help you, pray for you, encourage you. I would learn more about your interests, ideas, and dreams. I have been asking the Lord that He would do whatever is necessary to work Christlikeness in my life and yours... even if that means keeping us apart for more agonizingly long months and years. When I find my heart to be manifesting negativity or selfishness  or impatience in the course of my day-to-day existence, I ask the Lord if this is precisely why I am still alone. Will I ever really be ready for you? Will I ever have something to offer you? No doubt it is good for me to be humbled by such self-examination.

I'm here, dearest... 
- Your Evenstar

Resting and waiting upon God

My dear one, 

I was intentionally looking for something this evening that would be a short edifying quote to post on Facebook. When I happened upon this devotional in the process, I couldn't help wanting to share  it with you, especially since I recently wrote about Psalm 37.

WAITING ON GOD: PATIENTLY - by Andrew Murray

"Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him, Those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the land." Ps. 37:7, 9  

"In patience possess your souls." "Ye have need of patience." "Let patience have its perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire." Such words of the Holy Spirit show us what an important element in the Christian life and character patience is. And nowhere is there a better place for cultivating or displaying it than in waiting on God. There we discover how impatient we are, and what our impatience means. We confess at times that we are impatient with men, and circumstances that hinder us, or with ourselves and our slow progress in the Christian life. If we truly set ourselves to wait upon God, we shall find that it is with Him we are impatient, because He does not at once, or as soon as we could wish, do our bidding. It is in waiting upon God that our eyes are opened to believe in His wise and sovereign will, and to see that the sooner and the more completely we yield absolutely to it, the more surely His blessing can come to us.  

"It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." Rom 9:16. We have as little power to increase or strengthen our spiritual life, as we had to originate it. We "were born not of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of the will of God." Even so, our willing and running, our desire and effort, avail nought; all is "of God that sheweth mercy."  

All the exercises of the spiritual life, our reading and praying, our willing and doing, have their very great value. But they can go no farther than this, that they point the way and prepare us in humility to look to and to depend alone upon God Himself, and in patience to wait His good time and mercy. The waiting is to teach us our absolute dependence upon God’s mighty working, and to make us in perfect patience place ourselves at His disposal. They that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land; the promised land and its blessing. The heirs must wait; they can afford to wait.  

"Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." The margin gives for "Rest in the Lord," "Be silent to the Lord," or R. V., "Be still before the Lord." It is resting in the Lord, in His will, His promise, His faithfulness, and His love, that makes patience easy. And the resting in Him is nothing but being silent unto Him, still before Him. Having our thoughts and wishes, our fears and hopes, hushed into calm and quiet in that great peace of God which passeth all understanding. That peace keeps the heart and mind when we are anxious for anything, because we have made our request known to Him. The rest, the silence, the stillness, and the patient waiting, all find their strength and joy in God Himself.  

The need for patience, and the reasonableness, and the blessedness of patience will be opened up to the waiting soul. Our patience will be seen to be the counterpart of God’s patience. He longs far more to bless us fully than we can desire it. But, as the husbandman has long patience till the fruit be ripe, so God bows Himself to our slowness and bears long with us. Let us remember this, and wait patiently: of each promise and every answer to prayer the word is true: "I the Lord will hasten it in its time." Isa 60:22.  

"Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." Yes, for HIM. Seek not only the help, the gift, thou needest seek: HIMSELF; wait for HIM. Give God His glory by resting in Him, by trusting him fully, by waiting patiently for Him. This patience honors Him greatly; it leaves Him, as God on the throne, to do His work; it yields self wholly into His hands. It lets God be God. If thy waiting be for some special request, wait patiently. If thy waiting be more the exercise of the spiritual life seeking to know and have more of God, wait patiently. Whether it be in the shorter specific periods of waiting, or as the continuous habit of the souls. Rest in the Lord, be still before the Lord, and wait patiently. "They that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land."

"My soul, wait thou only upon God!" 

May this encourage you as it has me! 
- Your Evenstar

Heidelberg Catechism Week 38

103. Q. What is God's will for you in the fourth commandment? A. First, that the gospel ministry and education for it be maintained, and that, especially on the festive day of rest, I regularly attend the assembly of God's people to learn what God's Word teaches, to participate in the sacraments, to pray to God publicly, and to bring Christian offerings for the poor. Second, that every day of my life I rest from my evil ways, let the Lord work in me through His Spirit, and so begin already in this life the eternal Sabbath. 

My reflections on the reading from the book...

The concept of a Sabbath was present from the very beginning, when God set aside one day in seven, demonstrated in His resting on the seventh day of creation. The Mosaic Law taught God's people that they should turn aside from their regular labors to observe the Lord's Day, demonstrating their trust in God's gracious supply. Christ taught His disciples that the Sabbath was a day of freedom (Luke 13:10-17), a day for healing (Luke 14: 1-6), and a day for doing good (Mark 3:1-6). The fourth commandment points to the eternal rest appointed for the people of God (Hebrews 4:9-10). 

We set aside the first day of the week, as we rest from our daily employment and pursuits, to celebrate the resurrection of Christ and worship the Lord together with fellow believers.

Psalm 35

Verses 19, 24, 27-28...
Let not those rejoice over me 
     who are wrongfully my foes, 
and let not those wink the eye 
     who hate me without cause.
Vindicate me, O Lord, my God, 
     according to Your righteousness, 
and let them not rejoice over me!
Let those who delight in my righteousness 
     shout for joy and be glad and say evermore, 
"Great is the LORD, 
     who delights in the welfare of his servant!" 
Then my tongue shall tell of your righteousness 
     and of your praise all the day long.

Matthew Henry: 
"David in his afflictions, Christ in his sufferings, the church under persecution, and the Christian in the hour of temptation, all beseech the Almighty to appear in their behalf, and to vindicate their cause."

Make my life an alleluia, a song of praise to You each day. 

To proclaim Your grace and glory, 

Fill my heart with Your praise, I pray. 

When I stand at the mountaintop, or the valley of despair, 

This will be my cry, my song, my prayer, 

Lord, make my life an alleluia. 

Make my life an alleluia, a gift of love to You, my King. 

I will join with all creation in the song that the heavens sing! 

The earth will turn, and the planets spin, 

As the seasons ebb and flow; 

Still, Your grace surrounds me as I go. 

Lord, make my life an alleluia. 

Make my life an alleluia, this offering of myself I give to You. 

I will share Your grace and mercy for as long as I shall live. 

When I come to my journey's end, 

May those left behind be reminded, 

This has been my cry, my song, my prayer: 

Lord, make my life an alleluia. 

(Ruth Elaine Schram)

Cool mountain air

My dear one, 

A Saturday afternoon drive and cool mountain air were just what the doctor ordered. It would only have been lovelier if you had been at my side. The shadows are lengthening - October is almost here! Oh how I wish October could bring you to me...

"I keep watching, I keep hoping, but time keeps us apart. Is there a way I can find you? Is there a sign I should know? Is there a road I could follow, to bring you back home?"

- Your Evenstar

Psalm 36

Verses 7-10... 

How precious is Your steadfast love, O God! 

     The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. 

They feast on the abundance of Your house, 

     and You give them drink from the river of Your delights. 

For with You is the fountain of life; 

     in Your light do we see light. 

Oh, continue Your steadfast love to those who know You, 

     and Your righteousness to the upright of heart! 

Matthew Henry:

"God's loving-kindness is precious to the saints. They put themselves under His protection, and then are safe and easy. Gracious souls, though still desiring more of God, never desire more than God. The gifts of Providence so far satisfy them, that they are content with such things as they have. The benefit of holy ordinances is sweet to a sanctified soul, and strengthening to the spiritual and Divine life. But full satisfaction is reserved for the future state. Their joys shall be constant. God not only works in them a gracious desire for these pleasures, but by His Spirit fills their souls with joy and peace in believing. He quickens whom He will; and whoever will, may come, and take from Him the waters of life freely. May we know, and love, and uprightly serve the Lord; then no proud enemy, on earth or from hell, shall separate us from His love."

Psalm 37

Verse 7... Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
     fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way... 

This is the verse that my pastor shared at a prayer meeting a little over four months ago - and I still keep coming back to the notes I took that evening:

I. The instruction.
     A. Silence, rest; a hushed, still spirit. Silence demonstrates wisdom and sanctification.  The opposite is fretting... an agitated, troubled spirit. Fretting is one of several sinful reactions mentioned in this psalm (see also envy - v. 1, anger - v. 8, wrath - v. 8). Fretting is cause by focusing on the actions of others. Three of the four occurrences of "fret" in the Old Testament are found in this psalm - fretting was a real problem for the psalmist! Fretting occurs when we focus on man instead of on God. We become jealous or discontent, burning up with annoyance and grief.
     B. Stillness - see Psalm 46:10.
     C. Satisfaction - the soul that rests in the Lord finds all it needs in the Lord: His presence, power, person, promise, preservation.

II. The incentive.
     A. The Lord is sovereign over all things. He is on the throne, see Psalm 2. He knows when every sparrow falls. Every aspect of our lives is under His superintendence.
     B. He knows our hearts, needs, weakness, discouragements.
     C. He is able to perform His promises (see v. 5). The Lord performs all things for me, Psalm 57:2.
     D. He orders our steps (see v. 23) -- every detail of our lives. He does not forsake His people!
     E. He gives grace in the midst of hard circumstances. Bring your cares to Him!

III.The inheritance.
Our union with Christ is the means of receiving comfort. The presence of the Lord is our comfort.

...And so I must continue to take these thoughts to heart. Today has been especially hard emotionally. I had someone on my mind and happened to remember that it was just about this time last year when I first met him. I looked at a calendar, and sure enough, it was one year ago to the very day! That initial meeting somehow left me tongue-tied and nervous (though there was no apparent explanation at the time). For the next eight months, I grew more and more impressed by his hard work, selflessness, musicality, thoughtfulness, sensitivity, leadership, and maturity. I even thought he could someday be realized as THE "dear one" to whom I write. I cried when I leaned of his pending departure. And I find myself in tears again this evening, wondering if I will ever see him again.

 The night my pastor preached on Psalm 37:7, I was fighting tears when I happened to glance across the room and observe this someone brushing away a tear of his own.

 Tonight I pray for him. 

 Wait patiently; your times, my times, are in His hands.

Psalm 38

Verses 9, 15...

O Lord, all my longing is before You; 

     my sighing is not hidden from You. 

For You, O LORD, do I wait; 

     it is You, O Lord my God, who will answer. 

This is a psalm of lament, but even amidst sorrow and anguish the psalmist turns in faith to God. And should I do any less? What a timely challenge. When discouragement sets in and God's path seems too hard to travel, He strengthens my soul, sustaining with a word the one who is weary (Isaiah 50:4).

Sometimes a light surprises 

The Christian while he sings; 

It is the Lord who rises 

With healing in His wings; 

When comforts are declining, 

He grants the soul again 

A season of clear shining, 

To cheer it after rain. 

(William Cowper)

Monday pause

My dear one,

I actually made it home for a late lunch today! As a bowl of red beans and rice removes my hunger, I find myself wishing there were an easy way to rid my soul of the nagging loneliness that haunts even my busiest days.

I greet my colleagues in the hallway, collaborate with my fellow musicians, pray with my students, email the board members of the organization I head up, and chat with the lady sitting next to me in chapel... but none of these people know the "real me." My colleagues see a junior faculty member, my fellow musicians see the capable but gracious performer, my students see a busy but organized teacher, the board members see a brand-new leader, and my seat-mate sees the weary but optimistic laborer... but none can know that I long for a hug, a meaningful conversation, a leisurely dinner somewhere quiet. I need someone with whom to pray, study the Bible, host friends, cook, create music, explore downtown, run the trails, raise a family, comfort the hurting. Two are better than one - even Genesis 2:18 tells us this. I don't know that I can ever get over this sense of profound LACK in my life. I just get busier and busier, but it feels like I'm treading water, trying to keep my head above water, waiting to feel some firm ground under my feet.

"But my eyes are toward You, O Lord, my Lord; in You I seek refuge..."

..And my work calls me back.

Sunday busyness

Good evening, my dear one!

The first hint of autumn has made its tentative appearance this weekend! The trees have yet to don their festive leaf-colors, but today's grey coolness following the storm whispers the promise of more to come.

I sit out on my tiny balcony perch tonight with a cup of tea, to wind down from the energy-draining Sunday busyness that those in Christian service know so well:

• Drove my 89-year-old neighbor to church.
• Played piano for the children's Sunday School opening.
• Assisted in the 4-&-5-year old class (Discussing God's creation of the animals: "God's plan is that elephants have baby elephants and monkeys have baby monkeys. And what do you think tigers have?" "STRIPES!" Well, yes.......).
• Sang in the choir for the morning worship service.
• Made red beans & rice and chocolate cupcakes for the college student supper.
• Attended choir practice.
• Played the offertory solo for the evening service.
• Ate with the college students.
• The End.

Truly, these days of singleness do not leave me twiddling my thumbs. My "church family" and my "University family" are the only folks to whose needs I can effectively minister at this stage of my life. Yes, it is hard living away from my flesh-and-blood family ...one can only help so much through a phone call... O for the days when my brothers still lived here in town, so I could have them over and cook for them!

I confess, I so often imagine when cooking breakfast or conducting other home activities, that if you were here I would be able to serve you, encourage you, make your day a little brighter, a little smoother. I envy those women who have legitimate reasons to decline extra claims on their time: "My family is top-priority. I'm sorry I can't help with that right now." I can say no such thing, and so it's that much easier to end up over-committing myself to the detriment of my health and sanity!

Praying for you, wherever you are, as we head into the new work-week. May God strengthen your heart, your mind, your voice, and your hands as you follow His leading.

- Your Evenstar

Heidelberg Catechism Week 37

101. Q. But may we swear an oath in God's name if we do it reverently? A. Yes, when the government demands it, or when necessity requires it, in order to maintain and promote truth and trustworthiness for God's glory and our neighbor's good. Such oaths are approved in God's Word and were rightly used by Old and New Testament believers.

102. Q. May we swear by saints or other creatures? A. No. A legitimate oath means calling upon God as the one who knows my heart to witness to my truthfulness and to punish me if I swear falsely. No creature is worthy of such honor.

My reflections on the reading from the book...

These questions continue dealing with the Third Commandment, and DeYoung explains that this is because "oath-swearing was a hot topic during the Reformation." (Anabaptist Reformers used Matthew 5:33-37 and James 5:12 to outlaw oaths altogether, failing to consider the contexts of these verses.) The Heidelberg Catechism takes the balanced position that oaths, used sparingly and in the right context, can glorify God.

Heidelberg Catechism Week 36

99. Q. What is God's will for us in the third commandment? A. That we neither blaspheme nor misuse the name of God by cursing, perjury, or unnecessary oaths, nor share in such horrible sins by being silent bystanders. In a word, it requires that we use the holy name of God only with reverence and awe, so that we may properly confess Him, pray to Him, and praise Him in everything we do and say.

100. Q. Is blasphemy of God's name by swearing and cursing really such serious sin that God is angry also with those who do note do all they can to help prevent and forbid it? A. Yes, indeed. No sin is greater, no sin makes God more angry than blaspheming His name. That is why He commanded the death penalty for it.

My reflections on the reading from the book...

In the narrow sense of the meaning, "taking God's name in vain" is something that I personally find very offensive. And rightly so, for any child would hate to hear the name of his honored father misused. It is painful to my spirit when I have to listen to someone blaspheming the Name above all names!

A second, slightly differently, understanding of "taking God's name in vain" addresses the misuse of God's name "for purposes of our own ambition, avarice, or amusement," to quote John Calvin. I am always grieved to see those holier-than-thou "fightin' fundamentalists" toting around flaming placards, claiming to be the mouthpiece of God.

If I wear the name of "Christian" -- a follower of Christ -- then my entire life should magnify and exalt the name of Christ, never besmirching His name by my words or actions.

Post #300

My dear one, 

This letter marks the 300th post made to this website. Granted, not all have been actual "letters." You will observe that I have several ongoing series... such as my 2014 study through the Heidelberg Catechism and my Psalms Countdown (countdown to what?).

My fall schedule is at full-throttle, though the summer-like heat would give no hint that autumn is around the corner. I'm attempting some "down time" this Saturday afternoon as I curl up on the couch to work on some emails, while watching college football on my new iPad. It really is a juggling act, keeping up with the statewide organization I now lead, the music I'm supposed to be learning for an upcoming proposal submission and some November appearances, finding accompanists for my students, and myriad other teaching duties. 

I had a troubling dream a few nights ago, and it has been nagging at me ever since. In the dream, I heard one of my former students commenting that I was not a good teacher, that I only cared about myself, that I didn't help her at all. Hearing such comments confused me, because I was trying my best and making so many sacrifices for my students. And then I had to try to defend myself to my own mother, who believed my student's side of the story. So I woke up crestfallen, remembering some advice to analyze not the particulars of a dream, but the emotions I felt in such a dream. It prompted some soul-searching, and I truly want to make sure that my students sense that I care for them, am available to help them, and am not self-absorbed! Am I giving enough positive feedback in their lessons? Am I approachable? Am I offering my time to them outside of lessons? These questions and others will be important to keep at the forefront of my mind this semester.

More and more, I am terrified of becoming an eccentric old maid teacher like many others in this apartment building. I am thinking seriously about the possibility of buying a house someday. I think I'd go crazy living here long-term. It gives me the creeps just to think of that happening. I need my knight-in-shining-armor to ride up and sweep me away from such a fate... Well, maybe no shining armor - perhaps a fedora and warm eyes instead.

But for now, here I am, hopefully still in God's will... working, waiting, praying, and desiring to grow in my walk with the Lord.

- Your Evenstar

Psalm 39

Verses 4-7... 

O LORD, make me know my end 

     and what is the measure of my days; 

     let me know how fleeting I am! 

Behold, You have made my days a few handbreadths, 

     and my lifetime is as nothing before You. 

Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah. 

     Surely a man goes about as a shadow! 

Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; 

     man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather! 

And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? 

     My hope is in You.

I must regularly consider the brevity of life - the acknowledgement of which protects me from wasting my life on worthless things. Whom do I serve and wait upon but the sovereign God?! My hope is in Him, my strength comes from Him, and I pray that my life would always be for His glory alone.