My dear one,
Just yesterday I completed a 13.5-miler (my longest hike to date) ... and I'm nursing a few scratches from the overgrown thorny areas. I am certainly looking forward to the autumn colors and cooler temperatures that will arrive soon! My fall teaching schedule is into a good routine now, and I feel like I should hold my breath lest an impending catastrophe upset this equilibrium. I'm thrilled to be finished with my responsibilities as president of the statewide organization that occupied a large portion of my energies these past two years. The Lord has brought some wonderful new students to my university studio, and He has given me a number of wonderful musical opportunities as well. I appeared on a faculty chamber recital earlier this week, played an offertory solo at my home church this evening and for the prelude and choir anthem at another local church this morning. I'll be playing a pops concert with my local orchestra this coming weekend, giving a faculty recital at my university in two weeks, and appearing as a guest artist for a solo recital and masterclass at an out-of-state university early in October. I have also recently taken on the responsibility of a Sunday School class of 4- and 5-year-olds at my church, after having assisted in the class for the past three years. I'm praying for wisdom as I teach them about the Old Testament judges and kings and point these young minds to Christ our righteous Judge and victorious King!
Tonight I'm enjoying some hot spiced cider and meditating on Psalm 33:18 as I pray over the coming week. Here's a translation/amplification I pieced together and re-worked from several versions of this beautiful verse:
The eyes of the Lord are upon those
who worship Him with awe-inspired reverence and obedience,
upon those who hope confidently
in His tender compassion, unfailing mercy, and loyal love.
I'm praying that you know this truth in a special way this week!
Your Evenstar
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Monday, September 5, 2016
Wrestlings
My dear one,
Ten years ago, I was entering my first year of teaching at the university level. In those ten years, I taught four years at the university, moved away for three years to earn a doctorate at a different university, and returned to teach three more years.
Ten years ago, I felt sure that I would meet you, that you would "notice me," that I would be married before too long. I regret many hours wasted in dreams of those who will never be you.
The other day, a friend asked me about you (or rather, about the one I still secretly pray could be you). I attempted to avoid blushing as I nonchalantly answered my friend's questions about "that young man." Should I be praying for "that young man" (i.e., "you") as my friend suggested? I have been trying to wean myself away from these heart hopes that still cling despite the head warnings. I feel so silly, so stupid, so shallow for continuing to want a husband and family when that is obviously not the direction my life has taken. How can I keep praying and hoping when the Lord is nothing but silent on the matter? I don't want to fight His will if His answer is a clear "NO"... but how would I know if He actually wants me to keep praying about this?
These wrestlings are not unique to me and my situation, I am sure. But they are real, and they keep me awake at night.
Here's hoping you meet me in your dreams tonight...
Your Evenstar
Ten years ago, I was entering my first year of teaching at the university level. In those ten years, I taught four years at the university, moved away for three years to earn a doctorate at a different university, and returned to teach three more years.
Ten years ago, I felt sure that I would meet you, that you would "notice me," that I would be married before too long. I regret many hours wasted in dreams of those who will never be you.
The other day, a friend asked me about you (or rather, about the one I still secretly pray could be you). I attempted to avoid blushing as I nonchalantly answered my friend's questions about "that young man." Should I be praying for "that young man" (i.e., "you") as my friend suggested? I have been trying to wean myself away from these heart hopes that still cling despite the head warnings. I feel so silly, so stupid, so shallow for continuing to want a husband and family when that is obviously not the direction my life has taken. How can I keep praying and hoping when the Lord is nothing but silent on the matter? I don't want to fight His will if His answer is a clear "NO"... but how would I know if He actually wants me to keep praying about this?
These wrestlings are not unique to me and my situation, I am sure. But they are real, and they keep me awake at night.
Here's hoping you meet me in your dreams tonight...
Your Evenstar
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