And sometimes, at nighttime
I dream that you are there--
But wake holding nothing but the empty air...
My dear one,
Last night I dreamed of a conversation with you, though you did not have a face. I'm sorry for this constant doubt that you exist somewhere out there. For idolizing the idea of you while not having an inkling of what you are actually like. For not being patient for God's timing. For the mistakes I will make when I meet you. For the ways I will let you down or disappoint you. I'm sorry for your frustration in finding the right girl. For the times you've been hurt in the past. For the ways you will be misunderstood or falsely accused in the future.
On a happier note, some friends from church announced their upcoming adoption of a little boy from China. They have the sweetest story-- their fourth baby, whom I'll call "Michael," was born with a heart condition (which has been treated over a series of surgeries through the past few years), and they became burdened for other heart babies who have no one to invest in the necessary medical treatment. When Michael was two, they adopted a three-year-old girl from China ("Gabriela") and she has already had several surgeries and much improvement. Michael and Gabriela are now both in my Sunday School class. And very soon "Daniel," only 17 days younger than Michael, will be joining the family! I find myself wondering if you would ever consider the ministry of adoption for our family. It is certainly a subject I'd love to at least discuss with you... And when I say that, I'm not being pushy. Contrary to what many women hold, "discussion" does not mean winning a man over to the woman's view of things. But I digress! Ever since reading Russell Moore's book Adopted for Life I have been captivated by the beauty of adoption and its picture of the gospel.
I have three flute students lined up for afternoon lessons. Though I still have a week left of my Christmas break, they're back into their school schedules, so I'm perfectly willing to teach them anyway. The income that my home teaching brings in is a blessing!
Wherever this first Monday of the new year finds you, I wish you God's best and am praying for you!
Loving you,
Your Evenstar
Last night I dreamed of a conversation with you, though you did not have a face. I'm sorry for this constant doubt that you exist somewhere out there. For idolizing the idea of you while not having an inkling of what you are actually like. For not being patient for God's timing. For the mistakes I will make when I meet you. For the ways I will let you down or disappoint you. I'm sorry for your frustration in finding the right girl. For the times you've been hurt in the past. For the ways you will be misunderstood or falsely accused in the future.
How can I wait? The nights alone are kind;
They reach forth to a future day, and bring
Sweet dreams of you to people all my mind;
And time speeds by on light and airy wing.
I feast upon your face, I no more sing,
How can I wait?
How can I wait? The morning breaks the spell
A pitying night has flung upon my soul.
You are not near me, and I know full well
My heart has need of patience and control;
Before we meet, hours, days, and weeks must roll,
How can I wait?
(Ella Wheeler Wilcox)
...On a happier note, some friends from church announced their upcoming adoption of a little boy from China. They have the sweetest story-- their fourth baby, whom I'll call "Michael," was born with a heart condition (which has been treated over a series of surgeries through the past few years), and they became burdened for other heart babies who have no one to invest in the necessary medical treatment. When Michael was two, they adopted a three-year-old girl from China ("Gabriela") and she has already had several surgeries and much improvement. Michael and Gabriela are now both in my Sunday School class. And very soon "Daniel," only 17 days younger than Michael, will be joining the family! I find myself wondering if you would ever consider the ministry of adoption for our family. It is certainly a subject I'd love to at least discuss with you... And when I say that, I'm not being pushy. Contrary to what many women hold, "discussion" does not mean winning a man over to the woman's view of things. But I digress! Ever since reading Russell Moore's book Adopted for Life I have been captivated by the beauty of adoption and its picture of the gospel.
I have three flute students lined up for afternoon lessons. Though I still have a week left of my Christmas break, they're back into their school schedules, so I'm perfectly willing to teach them anyway. The income that my home teaching brings in is a blessing!
Wherever this first Monday of the new year finds you, I wish you God's best and am praying for you!
Loving you,
Your Evenstar
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