Christ only

My dear one, 

What a hard week... A friend died of cancer, only 50 years old; a colleague had a heart attack; the baby daughter of another colleague is in a coma after a tragic accident. And the news sources continue to report on shootings, political unrest and warring, Christians dying for their faith... Certainly makes my problems seem infinitely small!

And yet the tears continue to fall... Do I sound pitiful when I confess my loneliness? Since moving back to this area last summer, I have indeed worked to build relationships with several godly friends (without annoyingly forcing myself upon them), but they have husbands/families to attend to... I could drown these feelings of loneliness in other shallow friendships centered on chit-chat and materialism, but I choose not to. 'Twould be both unhealthy and tiring.

One bright spot in my day occurred on my way out of the coffee shop. I greeted a dear Christian lady whom I often see there and to whom I have spoken several occasions. This time we had such a wonderful heart-to-heart! Mrs. C's husband died several years ago, yet she is such a gracious, soft-spoken lady who carries herself with such dignity and strength. Of course, there are many differences between her situation and mine, but there are also many similarities between her widowhood and my singleness. We spoke together of struggles, frustrations, lessons learned, and I walked away very much encouraged. 

I continued to think throughout the day about one topic of our conversation - that of our human tendency to imagine, analyze, and/or worry about what others think at any given moment. I of course must acknowledge this as the sin of pride, the sin of focusing wrongly on self. I should not be preoccupied with others' opinions, judgments, and assumptions of me; instead I must look only to the Saviour in gratitude for His love and mercy and then joyfully pursue a course of love and obedient service to Him. This reminds me of the Martin Luther quote I read yesterday: "The sin underneath all our sins is the lie of the serpent that we cannot trust the love and grace of Christ and that we must take matters into our own hands." And a quote from A.W. Pink: "The great mistake made by people is hoping to discover in themselves that which is to be found in Christ alone." And this gem from Amy Carmichael: "Sometimes our thoughts will not stay 'fixed'; we cannot explain why. Before we know it, we find we have drifted back to thoughts of ourselves, or of others, or of places or things--of anything, indeed, but of Him who is deepest down our greatest longing: 'Thou, O Lord God, art the thing that I long for' (Psalm 71:5)." The common thread? Christ! May these dark times drive me to Christ. May they drive you to Him as well. And may we soon find one another as we seek from Him true satisfaction.

Praying for you tonight,
Me

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it." (I Thessalonians 5:23-24)